Thứ Bảy, 2 tháng 3, 2013

Khi TA Chưa Tốt- Chưa Giỏi- Chưa Thiện thì chớ-vội-phê-phán NGƯỜI




Có đôi lần tôi cũng argued rất sôi nổi with friends về đề tài “To Judge or Not To Judge” mà ngày nay tôi gặp ở một số forums. Họ khởi suy với câu nói sau đây:


“Before YOU judge ME, make sure YOU ARE PERFECT”




Judgements from the Deity perspective 

Luke 6:37 

“Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven;

Matthew 7:1-5

“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.

Proverbs 21:1-3

The king's heart is a stream of water in the hand of the Lord; he turns it wherever he will. Every way of a man is right in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the heart. To do righteousness and justice is more acceptable to the Lord than sacrifice.


James 4:11-12 Do not speak evil against one another, brothers. The one who speaks against a brother or judges his brother, speaks evil against the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge. There is only one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?

Genesis 22:1

After these things God tested Abraham and said to him, “Abraham!” And he said, “Here am I.”


JUDGEMENTS
To make a judgement (pamāṇa or vinicchaya) is to draw a conclusion or make a decision about something. According to the Buddha, people make judgements in one of four ways – (1) according to outward appearance (rūpappamāṇa), (2) according to the opinion of others (ghosappamāṇa), (3) according to economic status (lūkhappamāṇa) or (4) according to reality (dhammappamāṇa, A.II,71). We usually make judgements within two contexts – when called upon to arbitrate between two or more parties, or on first meeting a person or seeing them behave in a certain manner. In this first context, we will make our judgement known to the parties involved and hopeful it will soothe any disagreement between them.
Making judgements about the people we come into contact with is usually done within the privacy of our own minds. However, it will influence how we think about them – whether with respect or contempt, trust or suspicion, like, dislike or indifference. And, of course, the opinion we form about them from our judgements will in turn influence how we treat them. This being the case, we should be careful in making judgements about others, particularly critical ones.
Perhaps it would be appropriate to also mention a type of judging which mainly concerns Buddhists. There is a certain type of Buddhist who takes considerable interest in pontificating about what type of kamma a person must have done to be reborn in their present circumstances, or about where they will be reborn as a result of how they are acting now. Such speculating can only ever be at best a poor guess. The Buddha said that trying to work out the subtle and interconnected workings of kamma would be enough to drive an ordinary person mad (A.II,80). This is not because the functioning of kamma is ambiguous, but because we can never really know what is going on in other peoples’ minds, their motives or even the full range of their actions. When the Buddha heard that the lay disciple Migasāla was confidently claiming that several people who had recently died were reborn in certain circumstances, he said: ‘Who is this Migasāla ... to know the complexity of the human character?’ Then he added: ‘Do not be a judge of others, do not judge others. Whoever judges others digs a pit for themselves.’ (A.III,351).
Apart from the distinct possibility that the judgements we make about people may be wrong, judging others may also be a symptom of, or give rise to, smugness and self-righteousness. It may even be a way of deflecting attention from our own moral weaknesses and failings. Nonetheless, there are many situations in life where we are required to make judgments about people – whether a babysitter is competent to look after our child, whether the person who asks to borrow money from us genuinely intends to return it, whether the mechanic who says he can repair our car really can. What can we do to ensure that our judgements reflect reality so that we can make more intelligent choices? The Buddha offered this sound and sensible advice: ‘To make a quick judgement does not make one right. The wise person looks at both sides of the matter, with fairness, impartiality, watchful of the truth, wiselyand without haste. Such a person is called righteous.’ (Dhp.256-7).
The first thing the Buddha recommended here is not to make judgements hastily or impulsively (asāhana). Most things, people included, are multifaceted and take time to reveal themselves to us fully. Likewise, knowledge about something usually comes at the end of a process of accumulating data. Consequently, it is safe to say that any judgement made in haste is likely to be wrong, or at least partial. If things are multifaceted it follows that they may well appear different according to the perspective they are observed from and thus the Buddha advised us to ‘look at both sides of the matter’ (atthaṃ anatthañ ca ubho niccheyya). Getting the opinion of the different parties in a dispute, taking into account a person’s good points and not just their failings, considering that the person who was rude to us might have had a bad day and that he is not usually like that, would all be examples of this. The qualities of fairness (dhammena) and impartiality (sāma) are not always easy to define but an important element of both is equality of treatment. It is always prudent not to overemphasize some facts more than others, to take into account all the evidence and to weigh it all up thoughtfully. In the Buddha’s India as in many other cultures, a pair of scales (tulā) was used as a symbol of fair and impartial deliberation (Dhp.268). When making judgements on any matter it is easy to be swayed one way or the other by our desires, by what we wished were true. Confidence tricksters are often able to cheat people because they stimulate their greed, knowing that greed clouds judgement. The wise person tries to keep personal feelings at bay when making judgements and remains ‘watchful of the truth’ (dhammassa gutto) i.e. of the facts.
Perhaps we could add one last thing to the Buddha’s wise advice, a point highlighted in the Pāyāsi Sutta (D.II,347-8). Having made a judgement to the best of our ability, it is always good to continue to keep an open mind. This way, if later experience or additional facts show that our initial judgement was wrong, we will be able to adjust it. A prejudice is an opinion that is not amenable to change and prejudices are the cause of a great many interpersonal and social problems.
- See more at: http://www.buddhisma2z.com/content.php?id=204#sthash.43SdkT0g.dpuf
JUDGEMENTS
To make a judgement (pamāṇa or vinicchaya) is to draw a conclusion or make a decision about something. According to the Buddha, people make judgements in one of four ways – (1) according to outward appearance (rūpappamāṇa), (2) according to the opinion of others (ghosappamāṇa), (3) according to economic status (lūkhappamāṇa) or (4) according to reality (dhammappamāṇa, A.II,71). We usually make judgements within two contexts – when called upon to arbitrate between two or more parties, or on first meeting a person or seeing them behave in a certain manner. In this first context, we will make our judgement known to the parties involved and hopeful it will soothe any disagreement between them.
Making judgements about the people we come into contact with is usually done within the privacy of our own minds. However, it will influence how we think about them – whether with respect or contempt, trust or suspicion, like, dislike or indifference. And, of course, the opinion we form about them from our judgements will in turn influence how we treat them. This being the case, we should be careful in making judgements about others, particularly critical ones.
Perhaps it would be appropriate to also mention a type of judging which mainly concerns Buddhists. There is a certain type of Buddhist who takes considerable interest in pontificating about what type of kamma a person must have done to be reborn in their present circumstances, or about where they will be reborn as a result of how they are acting now. Such speculating can only ever be at best a poor guess. The Buddha said that trying to work out the subtle and interconnected workings of kamma would be enough to drive an ordinary person mad (A.II,80). This is not because the functioning of kamma is ambiguous, but because we can never really know what is going on in other peoples’ minds, their motives or even the full range of their actions. When the Buddha heard that the lay disciple Migasāla was confidently claiming that several people who had recently died were reborn in certain circumstances, he said: ‘Who is this Migasāla ... to know the complexity of the human character?’ Then he added: ‘Do not be a judge of others, do not judge others. Whoever judges others digs a pit for themselves.’ (A.III,351).
Apart from the distinct possibility that the judgements we make about people may be wrong, judging others may also be a symptom of, or give rise to, smugness and self-righteousness. It may even be a way of deflecting attention from our own moral weaknesses and failings. Nonetheless, there are many situations in life where we are required to make judgments about people – whether a babysitter is competent to look after our child, whether the person who asks to borrow money from us genuinely intends to return it, whether the mechanic who says he can repair our car really can. What can we do to ensure that our judgements reflect reality so that we can make more intelligent choices? The Buddha offered this sound and sensible advice: ‘To make a quick judgement does not make one right. The wise person looks at both sides of the matter, with fairness, impartiality, watchful of the truth, wiselyand without haste. Such a person is called righteous.’ (Dhp.256-7).
The first thing the Buddha recommended here is not to make judgements hastily or impulsively (asāhana). Most things, people included, are multifaceted and take time to reveal themselves to us fully. Likewise, knowledge about something usually comes at the end of a process of accumulating data. Consequently, it is safe to say that any judgement made in haste is likely to be wrong, or at least partial. If things are multifaceted it follows that they may well appear different according to the perspective they are observed from and thus the Buddha advised us to ‘look at both sides of the matter’ (atthaṃ anatthañ ca ubho niccheyya). Getting the opinion of the different parties in a dispute, taking into account a person’s good points and not just their failings, considering that the person who was rude to us might have had a bad day and that he is not usually like that, would all be examples of this. The qualities of fairness (dhammena) and impartiality (sāma) are not always easy to define but an important element of both is equality of treatment. It is always prudent not to overemphasize some facts more than others, to take into account all the evidence and to weigh it all up thoughtfully. In the Buddha’s India as in many other cultures, a pair of scales (tulā) was used as a symbol of fair and impartial deliberation (Dhp.268). When making judgements on any matter it is easy to be swayed one way or the other by our desires, by what we wished were true. Confidence tricksters are often able to cheat people because they stimulate their greed, knowing that greed clouds judgement. The wise person tries to keep personal feelings at bay when making judgements and remains ‘watchful of the truth’ (dhammassa gutto) i.e. of the facts.
Perhaps we could add one last thing to the Buddha’s wise advice, a point highlighted in the Pāyāsi Sutta (D.II,347-8). Having made a judgement to the best of our ability, it is always good to continue to keep an open mind. This way, if later experience or additional facts show that our initial judgement was wrong, we will be able to adjust it. A prejudice is an opinion that is not amenable to change and prejudices are the cause of a great many interpersonal and social problems.
- See more at: http://www.buddhisma2z.com/content.php?id=204#sthash.43SdkT0g.dpuf
Perhaps we could add one last thing to the Buddha’s wise advice, a point highlighted in the Pāyāsi Sutta (D.II,347-8). Having made a judgement to the best of our ability, it is always good to continue to keep an open mind. This way, if later experience or additional facts show that our initial judgement was wrong, we will be able to adjust it. A prejudice is an opinion that is not amenable to change and prejudices are the cause of a great many interpersonal and social problems. - See more at: http://www.buddhisma2z.com/content.php?id=204#sthash.43SdkT0g.dpuf

Judgements from Buddhist perspective  




To make a judgement (pamāṇa or vinicchaya) is to draw a conclusion or make a decision about something. According to the Buddha, people make judgements in one of four ways – (1) according to outward appearance (rūpappamāṇa), (2) according to the opinion of others (ghosappamāṇa), (3) according to economic status (lūkhappamāṇa) or (4) according to reality (dhammappamāṇa, A.II,71). We usually make judgements within two contexts – when called upon to arbitrate between two or more parties, or on first meeting a person or seeing them behave in a certain manner. In this first context, we will make our judgement known to the parties involved and hopeful it will soothe any disagreement between them.

Making judgements about the people we come into contact with is usually done within the privacy of our own minds. However, it will influence how we think about them – whether with respect or contempt, trust or suspicion, like, dislike or indifference. And, of course, the opinion we form about them from our judgements will in turn influence how we treat them. This being the case, we should be careful in making judgements about others, particularly critical ones.

Perhaps it would be appropriate to also mention a type of judging which mainly concerns Buddhists. There is a certain type of Buddhist who takes considerable interest in pontificating about what type of kamma a person must have done to be reborn in their present circumstances, or about where they will be reborn as a result of how they are acting now. Such speculating can only ever be at best a poor guess. The Buddha said that trying to work out the subtle and interconnected workings of kamma would be enough to drive an ordinary person mad (A.II,80). This is not because the functioning of kamma is ambiguous, but because we can never really know what is going on in other peoples’ minds, their motives or even the full range of their actions. When the Buddha heard that the lay disciple Migasāla was confidently claiming that several people who had recently died were reborn in certain circumstances, he said: ‘Who is this Migasāla ... to know the complexity of the human character?’ Then he added: ‘Do not be a judge of others, do not judge others. Whoever judges others digs a pit for themselves.’ (A.III,351).



Apart from the distinct possibility that the judgements we make about people may be wrong, judging others may also be a symptom of, or give rise to, smugness and self-righteousness. It may even be a way of deflecting attention from our own moral weaknesses and failings. Nonetheless, there are many situations in life where we are required to make judgments about people – whether a babysitter is competent to look after our child, whether the person who asks to borrow money from us genuinely intends to return it, whether the mechanic who says he can repair our car really can. What can we do to ensure that our judgements reflect reality so that we can make more intelligent choices? The Buddha offered this sound and sensible advice: ‘To make a quick judgement does not make one right. The wise person looks at both sides of the matter, with fairness, impartiality, watchful of the truth, wiselyand without haste. Such a person is called righteous.’ (Dhp.256-7).

The first thing the Buddha recommended here is not to make judgements hastily or impulsively (asāhana). Most things, people included, are multifaceted and take time to reveal themselves to us fully. Likewise, knowledge about something usually comes at the end of a process of accumulating data. Consequently, it is safe to say that any judgement made in haste is likely to be wrong, or at least partial. If things are multifaceted it follows that they may well appear different according to the perspective they are observed from and thus the Buddha advised us to ‘look at both sides of the matter’ (attha anatthañ ca ubho niccheyya). Getting the opinion of the different parties in a dispute, taking into account a person’s good points and not just their failings, considering that the person who was rude to us might have had a bad day and that he is not usually like that, would all be examples of this. The qualities of fairness (dhammena) and impartiality (sāma) are not always easy to define but an important element of both is equality of treatment. It is always prudent not to overemphasize some facts more than others, to take into account all the evidence and to weigh it all up thoughtfully. In the Buddha’s India as in many other cultures, a pair of scales (tulā) was used as a symbol of fair and impartial deliberation (Dhp.268). When making judgements on any matter it is easy to be swayed one way or the other by our desires, by what we wished were true. Confidence tricksters are often able to cheat people because they stimulate their greed, knowing that greed clouds judgement. The wise person tries to keep personal feelings at bay when making judgements and remains ‘watchful of the truth’ (dhammassa gutto) i.e. of the facts.



Perhaps we could add one last thing to the Buddha’s wise advice, a point highlighted in the Pāyāsi Sutta (D.II,347-8). Having made a judgement to the best of our ability, it is always good to continue to keep an open mind. This way, if later experience or additional facts show that our initial judgement was wrong, we will be able to adjust it. A prejudice is an opinion that is not amenable to change and prejudices are the cause of a great many interpersonal and social problems.



Who Are You To Judge Me?


Who are you to judge me,
Based on the way I look,
Do you always judge a story,
By the cover of the book?

Who are you to judge me,
By the way I dress and what I wear?
Who are you to judge me,
By the way I wear my hair?

Who are you to judge me,
By the things you imagine I do?
When you don't bother to figure out for sure,
What exactly is or isn't true...

That's my point,
You're no one at all,
You judge me for one reason,
So you can feel tall...

You judge me because you want to,
And because it makes you feel better inside,
Because my imperfections aren't yours,
But your flaws won't always hide...

I'm my own judge,
And you're your own too,
So judge yourself,
And the things that you do...

Because I'm tired of being judged,
By people who think they know me,
Who refuse to judge themselves,
Because they aren't as perfect as they could be... 
(Ashley)

Tôi khởi suy:  "Như thế nào được gọi là Perfect ?"
 

"Everybody is a Genius. But if you judge a FISH by its ability to CLIMB A TREE, it will live its whole life believing that it is STUPID" Albert Einstein

 

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