Những Viên Ngọc Trong Đá & Những Cánh Hoa Sen Giữa Bùn

...just sometimes in life, I wonder whether life still exists "những viên ngọc trong đá" and "những cánh hoa sen giữa bùn" ...

The beauty of Vietnamese Traditional &Typical WomenIn Vietnamese tradition, the beauty of a woman was based on the concept “3 obedience’s, 4 virtues” (Tam Tòng, Tứ Ðức). It was a dominant ideology and a kind of basic standard to measure the woman beauty, a string or a rule tightening and limiting the woman in bodies and souls. What are these concepts?
Firstly, the 3 obedience’s are obedience to Father before marriage, obedience to Husband after marriage, obedience to the eldest son after the death of the Husband. Historically, women in Vietnam had few rights. Fortunately, this concept has been fading away and no longer applies to modernised women.

Secondly, the 4 Virtues are “Công”--> Hard-working, “Dung”--> Good Appearance, “Ngôn”--> Well-spoken (nice words), “Hạnh”--> Well-behaved. They are 4 standards to measure the status and the beauty of a woman and basic lessons for girls before marriage. This concept has also been fading away but still accepted to a lesser extends in modernised world, especially in a western society. Now, let’s find out what these 4 virtues mean to Vietnamese modernised girls/women in the 21st century.

In brief, “Công”--> Hard-working: apart from having a skilful and good practice in house keeping affairs such as cooking, cleaning, educating children, etc... women today also have a job or a profession and ideally not neglecting social work.
“Dung”--> Good (and/or Appropriate) Appearance: the beauty of women is not shown by fashion or make-up but by physical neatness, charming, cheerful appearance and good health. The “appropriateness” means for different occasions, either at home, at school or at work, or attending different social functions.  The appearance of the inner beauty is what "Dung" requires of a woman.
“Ngôn”--> Well-spoken, proper language:  meaning soft and lovely expression is also another character that women should have. Nowadays, the term “Well-spoken” means that apart from possessing soft and lovely expression, good women should be also elegant in social communications, frank, forceful and dare to fight against inequity and inequality in family and social relations. Women should always be clever and knowledgeable to behave well in the family, in the work place, as well as in society.

“Hạnh”--> Well- behaved, good character, excellent conduct consists of the following - honesty, deity to parents, respect for husband, and trust in people.  Hanh can go beyond all the Cong, Dung, Ngon among the 4 virtues.  Vietnamese culture respected women with "Hanh", even though she may be poor or born with some misfortune.  A good Vietnamese mother will always try to teach their daughters to keep the Hanh virtue no matter how hard life is.
In summary, the traditional virtues of "cong, dung, ngon" and "hanh," which promote women as tidy, charming, soft-spoken and chaste.
As a Vietnamese girl and a member of Gia Đình Phật Tử, whether you are born in Vietnam or elsewhere on earth, Công, Dung, Ngôn, Hạnh are still considered to be a good standards to practice and as well as the precept Bi-Trí-Dũng (Compassion, Wisdom, Courage). In another words, The Beauty of Vietnamese Traditional and Typical Girls are based on the 4 virtues Cong Dung Ngon Hanh and Buddhist precepts.

So, what do we actually do in modern time? We will learn different skills every year such as how to make some tradition foods, vegetarian foods, cutting and decorating fruits and veges. We learn how to behave as a Buddhist girl and be a helpful girl with a passionate heart for family and society.

Let’s have a beneficial and enjoyable day & life!

HTND